slam poem by an ad account executive
(SCENE: basement stage in an empty bar downtown New York City.)
Can I See The Work
Where is The Work!
CAN. I. SEE. THE. WORK…
Where is The WORK!!!
Can I See The Work…
Follow The Brief!
It’s Due Today Internally
Follow The Brief!
It’s Due Today Internally
Follow The Brief…
Client Approved the Brief
3-Part Message? Client Approved the Brief!
8-Page Brief? Spare Me The Grief!
Write To The Brief
The Brief Is Right!
I Write The Brief
You Write TO The Brief
I Write The Brief
The Brief Is Right!
Don’t Beef!
Don’t Beef The Brief, Copy Chief.
I Write The Brief
You Write TO The Brief
My Briefs, Not Yours!
My Briefs Are Not Boxers
Stop Fighting Them
The Brief Sucks?
YOU Suck…The Life Out Of My Briefs
The Brief Is Long?
The Brief Is Brand Life!
TheBrief-IsTheBrief-IsTheBrief!
Is Approved
Better Be ON Brief
Or I’ll go Off
I’LL GO OFF!
__________
It’s 3, The Work?
It’s 4, The Work?
The Work? THE WORK?!?
It’s EOD
It’s EOD!
Where’s The Work?
Where Is The WORK!
__________
The Work
The Work!!!
(30-second interval)
Off Brief! Off Brief!
Work Is Off-Brief!
Beef! Off-Brief!
Work Is Off-Brief!
Work Is Off, Beef!
What’s THIS?
What’s This DIS?
CD EDITED the Brief
DIS-credited The Brief!
CDs, always 86ing AEs
Who fucking cares (freestyle, no breaks) Gotta go work on my next brief no one will follow THE MOST thankless job in the world I fucking hate creatives fucking fake-writer artist wannabes ooh look at me I wear a dirty T-shirt to work every day because I’m so fucking talented and irreplaceable (breath) CW in 5 years AI will be doing your job and the only thing you’ll be “writing” is the worst half-finished novel about a “Mad” ad agency ever which is saying sumthin because there are about ten thousand shitty half-finished novels about “Mad” ad agencies out there Hey A-D how’s your abstract “painting” goin’ shown any of it to another living human being yet (breath) CD hasn’t “created” or “directed” anything in 10 years but he collects miniature “vintage” ad mascots Jolly Green Giant Speedy Alka-Seltzer Mr. Bubble the fuck-ing Frito Bandito what an ABSOLUT (breath) douchebag…(*drops mic*)
