10 Useless Stock Photos Turned Into Bad Ads

Mark Duffy
3 min readDec 19, 2019

Fellow veteran creatives: how many stock photos have you looked at in your career? Tens of thousands? Hundreds of thousands? You know the mental pain of pathetically endlessly scrolling through absolutely awful images for clients who don’t want to pay for photo shoots. When you actually find a usable image, it’s fucking euphoric. These here are far from usable.

WTAF with this photo, “A man with two heads and no arms or legs sits in a chair. One head is asleep, the other stares into the camera.” Ehh, one set of nipples?

Two completely insanely useless portraits. These guys look like they just might be needing some work. Or institutionalization.

“Plant-man accessing file cabinet”. bp’s alternative energy plan is to turn all humans into air-cleaning “Plant People”. Pretty brilliant, actually.

BLUE NUN, get it?

“Screaming blind terrified woman with blood and bandage on her eyes and sharp scissors.” No, she does not look terrified. Insane, yes. Perfect image for LensCrafters.

What Lacoste is saying here is you have to wrestle an alligator (or crocodile) to earn the right to wear one of their preppy douchey shirts.

I think this is actually a pretty good ad.

Fucking idiotic photo.

Although the boy’s soul looks to be heading to a “lower authority”.

“Girl with strange mass on her head”…strange “goopy” mass.



Mark Duffy

Copywriter/Copyranter. My hockey wrist shot is better than yours.